On the Other Side of Anxiety

Maybe you’ve heard this saying before “what’s on the other side of your fears?” I have heard it many times, from various sources and explained in several different ways. Recently, I decided to follow those prodding me on to face my fears and push through the wall of anxiety, and everything shifted.

I woke up looking at my calendar and contemplating the tasks that were written with dedication and commitment just days prior. I paused my perusal of said list and replayed my personal ‘start the day mantra’, “Today is a very good day” I repeated my mantra again and again, as I allowed and encouraged myself to feel what this very good day would be like. As I felt the feelings of strength, happiness, excitement, and eagerness arise inside of my being, I repeated again, “Today is a very good day.”

My eyes fell back upon my calendar and they quickly zeroed in on Keller Williams Team Meeting @noon. ‘Team Meeting at noon,’ I thought to myself. My mind began to play forward through various scenarios of what the team meeting could be like. I was brand new at the company and this would be my very first team meeting.

I felt a heaviness begin to emanate from my chest. I imagined walking into the room, would there be a ton of people present or would there be only a few? Would it start on time, or run late? Would I find parking or have to walk too far? Would I get nervous and start sweating and repeat the same word, like I do sometimes when I get nervous. I heard the answers to my questions come as quickly as the questions posted in my brain. There may be a ton of people, and maybe you won’t get a seat, it may start late so don’t rush, you are always early and no one else is ever early, it may run late and you have a meeting after so you might need to skip it, what if you have to park far away and walk that would be annoying, remember the first luncheon you attended, remember how you started to get hot all of the sudden and then your face started to sweat and your eyeglasses actually fogged up a bit, at your browline, that was embarrassing, it’s so irritating when you get anxious and you go off into some space of knowing only five words, you repeat the same word over and over as if it’s the only word you know. These thoughts raced through my mind like Mario Andretti in the Daytona 500!

I stood there in my bedroom and I contemplated my situation. My accountability was to myself. I knew I could get back in bed and take the day to relax, shop, get some sun, … or… I could go to my first ever Team Meeting. I recalled all the instructions I had received from all of the books, videos, and CDs I had been listening to for YEARS and I thought to myself, if I don’t do something different than what I’ve been doing, nothing will change. I heard Tony Robbins, Joe Dispenza, Wayne Dyer, Gary Vee, all inside my head steering me forward to break through the anxiety and move past it. If I push through and sincerely go after “IT” I will find “IT”. I immediately took my phone and went on YouTube and looked up some of my favorite inspirational videos. I hit play and started doing my makeup and hair. A few negative thoughts tried to seep back in, but I was building momentum and they were much weaker than before. The inspirational video finished its 10-minute playtime and I chose another one and found myself shifting to a sense of excitement for what may lie ahead within my day. I kept listening to those videos as I dressed, walked my dogs, took my vitamins, and headed out the door.

I arrived at the meeting and had to park only a moderate distance away as there was one perfect little spot left, waiting just for me. I could see others walking in and knew it would be a packed room. I walked into the room and it was full there were just a few seats here and there in the very back. I made my way down the narrow opening along the wall twisting and turning as I passed by person after person. Everyone was talking and the room was full of energy and noise. I noticed three seats on the back wall and headed to them. I asked if one was taken and a lady sitting nearby said no. I sat down and felt safer than I did when I was walking into the room. At least now I had my spot, my little safety zone. I took a deep breath and I looked around the room. So many people were there and I knew maybe seven of them and those seven I just met a week ago. A crazy gambit of negative thoughts exploded within my mind, but I immediately stopped their raid and protest. I thought to myself, these people are just like me. They eat, they sleep, they are just like me. I focused on the actual moment and got out of my head, and once I became present I felt so calm and good.

So I’m sitting there on the back wall and the meeting is about to start and this cute blond lady comes and sits by me. She’s really cute. She is wearing this fitted black outfit and she has on these fantastic red shoes. I love her shoes and I comment on how pretty they are and I contemplate how I have always wanted to wear red shoes but I always go with the same old same old, tried and true black ones. She’s wearing very nice jewelry and has a great haircut. The energy this woman is emanating is fantastic. Her energy is calm, present, focused, joyful, and fulfilled. She came off as a woman who was strong and knew where she was going. I am an energy person. I am very sensitive to the energies people put off and I sense things, I sometimes see things before they happen. Anyways, this lady had great energy and I was glad she sat next to me. Her energy alone made me feel more comfortable and it helped me stay present and in the moment.

The meeting starts and I notice on the handout that the new people are going to be asked to introduce themselves. Huh. I’m not sure why I didn’t think of this ahead of time but as my eyes read the words a rush of insecurity came over me like a flood. I looked around the room again and I said to myself, “they are just like you.” I reminded myself these people are all thinking their own thoughts, dealing with their own lives, maybe even nervous to be there too. I took a deep breath and stayed present and felt the calm return. As long as I stayed present and didn’t take a ride on the bus of anxiety and doom that kept trying to entice me to jump on, as long as I stayed aware and kept redirecting my thoughts, then I was good.

The moments came and went and the meeting unfolded and progressed. I was thinking to myself, “This isn’t that bad, I can do this.” I was happy I was there. The people were very nice. I felt like they genuinely wanted to be there and they sincerely liked each other. I was riding a wave of coherence and it felt good. The cute little blond lady next to me has been a great help too. She just kept interjecting here and there as the meeting was unfolding and she was quite funny and she made it easier for me to just be me. A few minutes into the meeting this woman I have just befriended turns towards me and sticks out her hand and says, “Hi, I’m Rebekah.” I shake her hand and introduce myself. We smile and continue forward through the meeting. The speaker is talking and the meeting is moving onward and I’m replaying the introduction that just took place. Rebekah. Rebekah. Hmmm, most people I’ve met say their last name too. Hmm. Rebekah. I look back over at her and study her features a little more earnestly. All of the sudden I feel a smile start to break on my face, I let out a quiet and tiny giggle and I think to myself, “Oh my God, I’m sitting next to the owner of this Keller Williams Market Center! I had never met her before but I had seen a few pictures and I had heard about her and her husband and how successful they have been and how great they are to work for, and now… now… I’m at the Team Meeting I almost didn’t go to, the meeting I contemplated skipping, and now I am sitting next to the owner laughing and talking about The Gilmore Girls. At that moment I thought to myself… “Today is a very good day!”

On the other side of the wall of anxiety can be some of the greatest moments of your life.better red shoes

Upside Down You Turn Me

How fast can the game change? How fast can life turn a corner? …Well, how fast can you think a new thought, or change your perception? … Less than four days ago I was infinitely immersed in sincere deliberation of my personal economic future. Beyond personal, it was also the financial fate of my immediate family that swayed through my thoughts, on a rope braided with positives and negatives, pros & cons. Is it truth to say that contemplating ones future life’s work with single-minded interpretation is selfish? Hovering over my thoughts, while navigating my emotions I found myself seeking middle ground. Looking for a landmark, a safe and recognizable place I could retreat to, to allow me to find my bearings and establish my location, I found myself pondering the notion of actually trusting everything would work out, and releasing the need to control it all. I let go. I went on with my day. Life played out its beautiful song as the hours performed their solos. Time passed and I pictured those Lilies we’ve heard about. The ones growing beautifully in that field, without a care, yet in complete and utter splendor. “Be the Lily,’ I thought. Within moments, as if carried by the wind, the perfect answer gently rooted itself inside my life. My mind received it, analyzed it, and a feeling of joy, and peace came whirling up within me. I felt so excited. ‘This could seriously solve everything!’ I realized. Releasing my grip, I actually grabbed ahold of all that I needed. The system is in place. Use it. Allow it. Understand in the moments of “this too shall pass” that the plan is still unfolding. If you feel sad, angry, fearful, alone, frustrated, emotionally drained… let those feelings be recognized for the truth they hold in that moment. Allow them to be what they are. Validate their existence, discover the guidance they offer to facilitate healing, and then release them. Thank them for their truth, and their guidance to understanding your state of being, in that moment. Get out-of-the-way and just be the Lily that you are… beautiful, strong, lovely, kind, calm, and true. Here’s to a new day, a good day… a happy day!


…On those days that you feel like a weed… remember you are a Lily and this too shall pass… let go and be the Lily.

*Photo by footage.framepool.com

Walk the Talk

Walk the talk… not always easy. Personally, I am contemplating some big ideas/changes and I am thinking what advice would I give to myself, as I am in this position? I find my thoughts going from, just do it, to just keep your head low and don’t make waves. I’m pondering the possibility that my health may be being affected by my limbo state of decision-making. It’s so easy to say to someone else, “You need to do what’s right for you” … but it’s much more difficult to say it to yourself. I know I will figure this out. Talking to all of you about it, be it ever so brief, and quite vague, I still feel some sort of release. I wish I could say more, and I could but for now this is probably best. It’s nothing life-changing or Universe-altering:) I will keep you posted. Send me good energy, prayers, and love… please. My love to all.


Seek and you shall find… be mindful of what you are looking for.

Connective Power

Hey so I know it’s not summer yet … and many of us are experiencing rather cold weather but let’s talk coal. Let’s talk coal like in a BBQ grill. Those small, strong, hardworking pieces of potential. Think about it… These pieces of coal get piled together and then set on fire to create enough heat and flame to perform their destined purpose… cook our food.

single piece of coal

We stack them, dump them, and light them and voila. If one piece of coal rolls off to the side and finds itself all alone most of the time it’s flame lessens and it’s powerful heat to fulfill it’s purpose decreases or goes out completely. We are like coal. When we connect with others in our lives and we encourage each other, support one another and work together… well our potential to fulfill our purpose is immeasurable… our passion is on fire! When one of us falls away from our group and finds ourselves alone we eventually begin to feel our light lessen, our fire weaken and our purpose blur. Staying connected to others brings us power! Connective Power! Find good people, believe and envision yourself surrounded by uplifting, encouraging, positive people who will be your BBQ goal group. Stay tight… feed your flames positive and empowering energy and feed the flames of those hot coals all around you. Let the fire get hotter and hotter and let the destiny and purpose of all be fulfilled. Happy Grilling;)


*photos used above found at http://www.colourbox.com & http://www.foodwoolf.com

What’s in your garden?


You reap what you sow… What you send out comes back… Judge not lest ye be judge… You get what you give.

Take a moment. Quiet yourself and think back over your day, the past week even the past year. Do you see things in your life that are pleasant? Do you see truth, honesty, kindness, joy… love? Check your seeds. Check the seeds you have been planting. What actions and or reactions have you been placing into your life and the lives of others. What choices and decisions have you been planting in your life and the lives of those around you? If you plant spinach you will reap spinach. If you plant an orange tree you will get oranges. If you plant goodness you will get goodness. If you plant negative thoughts and deeds… well you get the picture. Sometimes even with the best intentions gardeners forget to weed their gardens. Sometimes even with the best intentions gardeners forget to go the extra mile and fertilize their gardens. Life is so beautiful and resilient. Even if forgotten, weed ridden… or weak… when shown love and caring, gardens respond quickly and powerfully! You got this!

To Do List:

Check our thoughts, words and deeds for weeds

Take time to give a fertilizer of goodness, joy and love to our gardens of life

Reap our harvests … no matter what it will be what we have planted… what we put in is what will come out

Plant LOVE.

Happy Harvesting:)


*photo from theblessinghamgardens.com


Here’s a thought…

Here’s a THOUGHT. A thought. Hmmm… Two words that hold unlimited potential and power. Power and potential to create good or to create bad… To bring forth mediocrity or greatness. A thought. Many cultures and beliefs write of this truth.

The Holy Scriptures tell us in Proverbs 4:23, “Be mindful how you think for your thoughts produce your life.” One Buddhist saying states in an English translation, “All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts. Albert Einstein said, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

Don’t forget your gift… Your gift of an ability to create your life. This whole concept goes really deep and we could talk about it for days but in a short, daily blog version let’s go with this…  Every time you find the old thought/program starting to run press pause and flip the thought or change the program. Over time this will get easier and easier and before you know it you will function in a whole new way and your life will reflect this too! Every thought can be flipped! Just a few examples.

I wish I was thinner.

I am looking healthier and healthier every day.

I owe so much money.

I am blessed to be able to pay off my bills.

I’m in this alone.

I am surrounded by love.

No one cares.

I am cared for and loved.

I hate my bills.

I love the things I have in my life and I am thankful the creditors trust me.

My knees are so messed up.

I am thankful my knees take such good care of me. I love my knees.

I am tired of all the crap.

I am excited to see what a new day will bring.

Most people don’t even realize how many, many negative thoughts they think and say in just a day! First you need to allow yourself to become aware. Then take your time catching each thought as it comes out of your mouth and flip it. If you catch it before it leaves your mind and exits your lips that’s great but either way don’t give up. Flipping your thoughts from negative to positive will make you feel better. Who can feel good constantly thinking or saying negative things. Thinking positive creates more positive. Thinking negative creates more negative. Whether you like it or not this is the system or set up. So knowing this, step back re-evaluate your thoughts, words and deeds and look at your life. If you don’t like what you see then start flipping those thoughts and actions and start creating the life you want. Happy Creating!;)

I Love You…

You have probably said these three simple yet powerful words to someone at some time in your life. Odds are good that you have heard someone else say these three words to you at least one time. My question is have you ever said these three words to yourself? Most of us haven’t. Most of us believe deep down we love ourselves and we are good people but have we ever told ourselves “I love you?”

I learned a very powerful exercise from a beautiful woman named Louise Hay. I read her book,You Can Heal Your Life, many years ago and I still refer to it all the time. It’s an excellent source for inspiration to be your best “you” …to learn to love yourself sincerely and to heal past wounds and release old baggage. I highly recommend this book. In the book Louise tells the reader to get in front of a mirror and look yourself directly in the eyes. Just stay there for a few minutes looking into your own eyes. Really acknowledge the fact that you are “seeing” yourself. You are looking into your own being. You can see you as a child, a young person, a teenager and an adult. You see the child with your old nickname that you have desperately tried to get rid of and cringe when a distant family member calls you it at a family holiday dinner. You can see the child who maybe endured some type of abuse or bullying. You can see the teenager who felt lost or alone or frustrated with life. You can see all your good moments as well as those moments you have worked so hard to forget. As you view yourself you may feel vulnerable… you may feel anxious or sad or even overwhelmed. Breathe through the feelings…  allow them to be what they are and then release them as a part of your journey. Release them as incidences that occurred in your past. Allow anything negative that may have been attached to these memories to dissolve and leave you as you look in your eyes and say to yourself with heartfelt sincere truth… “I love you.”

Keep breathing and telling yourself, “I love you.” Say this again and again over and over and allow the beauty that begins to surface to evolve completely into a pure connection of your entire being… who you were, who you are and who you are becoming. Every part of you deserves to hear I love you. The parts of you that you may have tried to forget are the parts of you who deserve it the most! You are strong. You are wise. You are brave… every part of you is. You deserve this… this understanding and forgiveness. You deserve this acceptance and deliverance. You deserve this love. Find a quiet, private moment and try this out. It may be one of the best things you may ever do. You are amazing and beautiful… all of you is. Get to know yourself again.

For more info on Lousie Hay and her book You Can Heal Your Life check out…


PS: I love you:)

Oh What a Beautiful Morning….

Funny thing… growing up knowing your mom and dad did a great job raising you and then finding yourself in a moment as an adult … knowing they did a great job raising you! Yesterday was awesome had a great birthday. Felt very blessed and grateful… lots of love. Today is off to a fantastic start. I had to deal with some health insurance stuff… no fun… usually… but I have been implementing purposeful shifts with old programming thoughts and in doing so I found myself happily handling the issue and everything going my way. The funny thing is after handling the insurance stuff I get in the shower and of course start singing:) but the song that bellows out from within my heart and soul is one I haven’t heard in many, many years. In fact that was my “know that your parents did a great job moment” I found myself singing a song my mother sang when I was growing up and she is still singing today:)

Oh what a beautiful morning,

Oh what a beautiful day,

I’ve got a beautiful feeling,

Everything’s going my way.

As I sang the lyrics I felt so happy and peaceful. In that moment I thought “wow” this is the perfect affirmation to start your day! I have been implementing positive affirmations for several years now. Thanks mom for planting one of many inside my heart and mind so early in life. I continued singing, enjoying every note and feeling more joyful and happy with every line.

I’m enjoying sharing with you, hope you are enjoying it too.

Found this cool video clip on YouTube. It’s Hugh Jackman in Oklahoma singing the song! Check it out if you like.

Here’s to a beautiful day!:)


Monday Monday Monday!!!

It’s here. The first Monday of the new year. 2015’s first ever MON….DAY. Monday… the day that officially starts it all! M.O.N.D.A.Y. So I’m up and on my way to take my youngest daughter to her British Literature class. She takes the class every Monday for an hour and fifteen minutes. We homeschool. Yes, that’s right I am a homeschool mom! Shout out to all the homeschool mom’s!!……. Hey:) Being a homeschool mom is awesome. Seriously, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I tried the regular, structured routine deal and it’s just not for us. It’s absolutely great if it works for you, I totally believe everyone should have the freedom to choose what works for them, but for me and my girls homeschool is the best.

My To Do List Today:

  • Get up & get ready
  • feed dogs (rescue dogs Harriett and Kiley) & one cat (Little Bit, she adopted us and wakes me up every day around 5:30 a.m. ahhhh:/)
  • water plants (an orchid, a polka-dot and a Philodendron that has grown well past ten feet long in length)
  • make kid breakfast (I have two kids but one gets up later and makes it for herself)
  • drive to class (not far from the house)
  • go get a chick fil a’ tea!!!:) yummy!! I always order it half and half with no ice.
  • go to Publix and pick up a few things (probably just stuff to make dinner… maybe I’ll make meatloaf, on Mondays I try to make something that we can eat for a few nights to free up my evenings a bit through the week)
  • go back and pick up kids
  • get lunch
  • come home and…
  • teach Math and Spelling to my youngest and Economics and French I to my oldest (this are Monday’s classes)
  • visit wit my godson Owen!!! He’s just over three months old and he’s coming to visit today:)
  • do laundry… I have about three loads left after the two from yesterday this I’ll do while I do the rest of this list
  • get my “other jobs” done (I have many jobs. I write. I already published one children’s book, Bella Morella. http://www.BellaMorella.com. I sell a construction product called Angle Iron Cover, I’ve been selling this since 1999, this job I do 24/7 as we sell all across the USA and Canada and I get calls, emails, web hits, at all hours. http://www.angleironcover.com, and I sell Young Living Essential Oils- love-love-love these!! email me if you want more info on any of this alonesgarris@gmail.com
  • work on my blog – love this time of day 🙂 may have to finish it when I go to bed
  • make dinner and finish laundry
  • watch a little T.V. basically so I can visit with my husband 🙂 We’ve been married 25 years this April!:)
  • tidy up and take a shower (adding into the shower my “oil pick of the day” to bring an “ahhh yes” and some relaxation to “my” time… well “my” fifteen minutes … lol 🙂 It’s all good. This is just Monday. The days get more relaxed as the week progresses. I learned long ago to move things around, stop in the middle and take a quiet moment or just knock it off your list if you need to.
  • get in bed, contemplate how grateful I am to have such a blessed and beautiful life… and go to sleep… I love sleep:)

Oh yeah I’m going to throw in some yoga and I hope a few minutes on my new stepper. The day seems full but it flows nicely as long as one doesn’t become too serious about perfection or absolute completion. Most things are fairly portable and can be moved around or placed on other days. I just keep an open mind and remember it’s not about the list as much as it is about the moment I’m in. Just take it one moment at a time, with the list as a mere guidepost or goal setter.

So what does your first Monday of 2015 look like? What’s it gonna be, or dependent upon when you are reading this … what was it like? No matter how it starts or sways, or went, remember… YOU GOT THIS! If you’re not feeling good about something then change it. If it’s something you cannot change then accept it… and let it go. You hold all the power. Don’t give it away to anyone or anything else. Live your life walking in a state of gratitude and love and if the opportunity arises share a smile, give a compliment and pass out some joy:) You’ll be glad you did. It all comes back at ya no matter what you choose to give out…Think about that and load your days up with what you want to see and receive in your own life. YOU GOT THIS! Go build and enjoy an amazing 2015!!! 🙂 oxoxox

We Got This

This is an amazing time of year. This is the time of year that brings a feeling of fresh starts and new beginnings. Many of us prep weeks ahead with ideas to join gyms, create diet plans and list goals to achieve. With lists of resolutions which may soon be compromised by old programming waiting to run into each other head on let’s step out of the old programming box. Let’s look at 2015 in a new way. This next step and new space is wide open to be filled by us with whatever we choose. Let’s fill it well. We are capable of greatness or failure … Let’s be mindful to humbly walk in greatness. We can do this! YOU can do this. Let’s step out of the box together.

Let’s show up every day with gratitude in our hearts and thoughts. YOU decide. You can have any life you choose. No one creates your reality but you. You have a SuperSelf inside of you, we all do. Your SuperSelf is you at your best, the best part of you. My intent is to guide any who are interested in finding their SuperSelf to do so. This is the time. Today is upon us and offering us the space in which we can step up, step out and become all we are destined to be. Step up to the plate, play with great skill and purpose and allow the ancient wisdom that resides deep within your being to guide and protect you. You know this … The answers are all there. Take your time … as there really is plenty;)


I will be adding various pages to this site to assist us as we reprogram and assimilate the information and ideas we will be using to grow and strengthen our lives. I plan to learn more and more about blogging so I can offer more to you. Be kind and know I’m learning as fast as I can. This is going to be an amazing journey! I’m thrilled to be taking it with you!